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Cold Sky

by Ryan Fitzsimmons

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1.
Does it suffice to say that mortal hearts are blind Given this lowdown situation Given your uptown state of mind The loaded dice you play won't buy you any time Given this lowdown situation Given your uptown state of mind Hey Mama, did you see my face on the picture screen I took at streetcar named desire but I landed somewhere in between Hey Mama, are we just moving from scene to scene Moving in and out of somewhere but I'm never really where I seem. Is it enough to try to memorize your lines Given this lowdown situation Given your uptown state of mind Choke back the tears and deny mistakes you can't rewind Given this lowdown situation Given your uptown state of mind Hey Mama, did you see my face on the picture screen I was standing on the waterfront trying to justify the means Hey Mama, are we just moving from scene to scene Were you emulating Monroe living in the Whole Year Inn Is it alright if we just leave the script behind Given this lowdown situation Given your uptown state of mind Your State of Mind Your State of Mind Your State of Mind
2.
There are boards on the windows and They've locked all the doors Though there's nothing to keep safe inside anymore Just aged yellow paper and old photographs Lying there on the floor like some sad epitaph Oh lying there on the floor Scraps of history lying, not a whole lot more I'm waiting on the North Central Line At a station that has no place or time On a platform pushed up against the new highway Waiting with the ghosts here at night Searching for the tracks or the light Of the engines that interstate dusted away That train don't stop anymore… There's a bridge over nothing on the old interstate Past Route 14 'round mile 168 10 tons of steel over an old railroad bed Just in case they decide to bring it back from the dead Maybe lay those tracks down once more from those city lights To the Ontario Shore Waiting on the North Central Line At a station that has no place or time On platform that is slowly rotting away Waiting with the statues at night Searching for what's long out of sight At this station next to the new highway That train don't stop anymore Gleaming white sign for the last gas station Out on the new highway Takes on a new kind of personification Out on the new highway I'm sure that horizon looks just like a mirror Out on the new highway Maybe the blue reflection's a little bit clearer Out on the new highway The tranes in your mind seem to all intertwine Out on the new highway All of the tears seem a bit less sincere Out on the new highway The ghosts of the past are all walking at last Out on the new highway The trains are all gone but your still moving on Out on the new highway Waiting on the North Central Line At a station that has no place or time On platform where nobody waits anyway Waiting is only a word That is seldom spoken or heard At this station up against the new highway That train don't stop anymore That train don't stop here anymore
3.
Ashes 04:01
If the law comes knocking I might just sent them your way Since I over heard you talking on the main line yesterday We were playing Russian roulette, it was the game we'd always choose It was always five to one I guess that someone had to loose You thought yourself the prophet poet flying high above the scene Erasing lines and blurring edges between reality and dreams With a gaze much wider than how singular it seems Now that you lost track of the way you got your means It all lies below you as you fall above the ashes She was beautiful like pictures of the mountains in Tibet Glorious and unattainable by those who haven't been there yet You thought they were all bastards, but they were just caught in the glare It's not everyday you see that kind of halo around here But you saw it and you used it like a free book of matches Letting each one burn your fingers till you dropped them on the floor And when the last flame was gone, through the wispy smell of sulfur You tossed the book aside and when out in search of more But 'neath the cover on the cardboard lies a number scratched in pencil And some words you've done your dammedest to ignore Now all that is pining in your hall is just the ashes The old ones smile back at you because they know your bound to roll Their jaded eyes and white lies shine in the water of your soul That flows the path of least resistance, as crooked as the cracks In the mirror that you shattered when you saw what was looking back No reflection, no perception, no consequence to your deceit No sympathy for the pigeons laying bloody at your feet Now that razors in your pocket and your smiling sicky sweet At the next victim that you're about to meet They all wait in line just to find themselves in ashes I can't say that I like this, or that I'm not like you Yeah, there are moments I commit the same crimes that you do We're seeking the glory of flying up to the sun But there's more wax in my wings than I had thought when I was young Hell, I'm STILL young, and I'm still full up Of ideals and false pretense Trying to walk the fine line between pride and arrogance But when you sacrifice the journey to indulge the present tense Will your soul withstand the weight of the expense? Now all that's waiting for your curtain call are just the ashes So here's to what you stand for Be careful who you trust You want to go up in ashes But your destination's dust.
4.
Will My Mind 05:01
Those Christmas lights are glowing yellow On a maple tree that looks like hell Strange mix of tinsel and dead leaves Outside the waterfront motel The clouds are as gray as your eyes That used to sparkle ocean blue But the sea will always match the skies And my weather will never equal you This resort town is abandoned The winter months just bring the cold To all the gift shops by the town dock Where the sunny postcards will be sold The ice is halfway through the inlet Pretty soon it is going to freeze straight on through I'll walk out on the water And will my mind away from you I can't say I blame you for leaving I can't say we didn't have some fun We watched the town lights on the water Fade out with the morning sun These islands are so pretty When they're the only thing you know But your eyes needed other beauty So I understand you had to go Now the snow is blowing sideways With the first good storm of the year There's nothing moving down on James Street There's nothing living around here Those breezy summer scenes Can be so hard to live up to So I'll just breathe in this cold air And will my mind away from you So I'll walk out on the water And will my mind away from you I've been going to church on Sunday For lack of something else to do I've been trying to get close to God Since I can't be close to you.
5.
Diamond Ring 03:58
Diamond Ring, Diamond Ring Shine on forever make her heart sing Her heart sing, her heart shine Shine on forever gonna make her mine Her blue eyes are a gypsy's song Spin me dizzy all day long One look I hear jigs and reels Drunk on the song those eyes reveal We're going to go together To the end of every road Arm and arm forever Never gonna let her go Diamond Ring, Diamond Ring Shine on forever make her heart sing Her heart sing, her heart shine Shine on forever gonna make her mine Her smile has sunshine's golden glow Makes my heart move fast and my mind turn slow When she holds my hand I'm smiling too With her warm touch burning right through We're going to go together To the end of every road Arm and arm forever Never gonna let her go Diamond Ring, Diamond Ring Shine on forever make her heart sing Her heart sing, her heart shine Shine on forever gonna make her mine I can feel my future in her kiss Filled with the truest happiness Makes me feel all good inside I'm her man and she's my bride We're going to go together To the end of every road Arm and arm forever Never gonna let her go Diamond Ring, Diamond Ring Shine on forever make her heart sing Her heart sing, her heart shine Shine on forever gonna make her mine Diamond Ring, Diamond Ring Shine on forever make her heart sing Her heart sing, her heart shine Shine on forever gonna make her mine
6.
Uneven Road 04:14
Her Dreams are sewn under her sleave She always shows them to me From the shape of the stiches, you could guess what they might be But here only her and I see She wants the things she deserves She haunts the space behind my words She knows the places where they cannot be heard She only wants what she deserves It's an uneven, uneven road She follows the path I have chose Barefoot and freezing in the snow She stands in the cold with a will made of stone She will never let me go It's an uneven, uneven road She made a creed of my name With eyes that will always remain To beautiful to not withstand the pain She made a creed of my name It's an uneven, uneven road
7.
Guardian 04:35
He put his head down on my leg and fell asleep And I looked over him, and over seven years Of joy and loss and prayed the lord his soul to keep And felt assurance trickle down my cheek Keep his soul for I know that when I was The guardian of him, all his love was Given freely without fear, regret, or even pause And lavished on us despite our many flaws She looks so beautiful in that gown Light coming through the door It surrounds her blinding and pure blinding and pure No pause or regret I tell myself cause I was once his guardian entrusted with The love he gave which I decided if should live or die And I decided To die or live for the safety of her world A simple answer questioned when the man Jumped off his moped, swung at me and yelled in creole words I did not understand and wish I never heard She looks so beautiful in that gown Light coming through the door It surrounds her blinding and pure blinding and pure Words of creole that I'll never understand Have torn the white vale of security That I once tried to give to him then ripped with my own hands With which I hold her Cause I'm her guardian.
8.
Haley Wall 04:09
Haley Wall will take you down, Drag your ass through Chinatown Spend all of your money and leave you flat I first met her when I was a kid, not for long 'cause of what she did But there aint no sense in re-hashing all that Every now and then our paths would cross out in the dirt She'd be leaning against some bar wearing some black mini-skirt Her legs were just as long that day as they had ever been I knew that there was no way I could win Trash was piled on the sidewalks, the neon shined on the buss stop In that part of town where Haley likes to play I walked in and ordered two, not sure what else I could do I knew that she'd be coming round my way I could feel her presence before she even caught my eye She slithered up beside and brushed my hand with her thigh She said "hey there stranger, it's sure good seeing you again" And I knew that there was no way I could win, Haley spin my world around Take all your lies and whisper them true Your fire is burning in my eyes Haley wall, I owe it all to you Clothes were spread across the floor, private sign hung on the door In a hotel down the street without a name Names are no use in that light that hangs around that time of night And the shadows on the wall look just looked the same The memories were rolling just like fire through my blood Haley took that desire and just dragged it through the mud When the dirt of all our history was covering our skin And I knew that there was no way I could win Haley spin my world around Take all your lies and whisper them true Your fire is burning in my eyes Haley wall, I owe it all to you The hours dried with beads of sweat, burning like cheap cigarettes The whiskey and the dope just numbed my head We passed out sometime after dawn, when I woke up she was gone I laid there tangled in that hotel bed Now what happened next has never been so easy to recall But it seems like I remember someone screaming in the hall Next thing I knew a uniform in blue came busting in And I knew that there was no way I could win It seems had possession of some things I won’t mention But honestly I don’t remember holding shit But with Haley you never knew what she had or what she’d do Or what she’d leave behind her when she split The preacher says that there’s a price for every little sin Now I’m here just paying with my mandatory five to ten But I know when I get out I’ll look up Ms. Wall again Because I know there’s no way I will ever win Haley spin my world around Take all your lies and whisper them true Your fire is burning in my eyes Haley wall, I owe it all to you Oh now Haley Wall I owe it all to you Haley wall I owe it all to you
9.
Cigarettes 04:00
You were buzzing like a short electric circuit Burning sparks through broken neon signs I'd call you out, but I know that it wasn't worth it You'd only shut me down and then unplug the lines So instead I listened to you tell your story With a weary eye one the asphalt down below As it moved beneath my wheels in solid motion I trusted it to tell me where to go Cigarettes Gasoline A TV Set James Dean A shape that looks familiar in the static on the screen What does it mean I can't say we ever were like brothers But this is the second time you've moved my weary pen I tried to write you off like all the others But your demon words keep coming back again You're nothing but a streetlight in the roadway You're nothing but some fireworks in the night And even thought the ambers burn your body You can't help getting closer to the light Cigarettes Gasoline Wasted Breath Kerosene A lamplight in a fortress where it's cold And dark And mean Is that where you've been I'm glad you picked up the goddamed receiver I might as well have said nothing at all All I spoke were words of a craven deceiver And all you heard were distant echos in the hall I'm not sure that I've done you any favors I'm not sure that we'll ever speak again All I can do is pray you'll still be breathing When she calls the white coats to come marching in Cigarettes Gasoline Crystal Methamphetamines I hope you find an answer that is Beautiful And Clean And Unforeseen.
10.
Dear Eugene 04:54
Dear Eugene Where am I going today? The dark is coming on and the path is splitting different ways There is no map, I guess I'm really on my own Eugene, which one of them leads home All I see Are the tears welling up in her eyes While she's carrying the fear of hearing another goodbye They're so damn blue, and so am I When all I can say is "pretty baby please don't cry" Eugene I need to hear your voice again Telling me how to bring her tears to an end With the answers that I just don't know Eugene, why did you have to go? I found a card That I wrote you but I just never sent It said "Dad, happy birthday, you don't how much you've meant" I forgot it at the time, you were just a phone call away Now there are so many things that I'd pick up that phone and say Eugene I need to hear your voice again Telling me how to bring her tears to an end With the answers that I just don't know Eugene, why did you have to go? Gene You told her to take care of me You could always spot the signs I never could see No matter how far up the road, they were always painted in your mind Eugene, I wish you had a little more time Eugene I need to hear your voice again Telling me how to bring her tears to an end With the answers that I just don't know Eugene, why did you have to go? Dear Eugene Where the hell am I going today?
11.
Head full of whiskey, heart full of woe I've got an evil woman with her fingers on my soul If I was talking sober I might get back in control But I don't want to wait that long Her eyes, they look like heaven Her lips taste like rain Her hips are swaying back and forth Through my weary brain If I watch her move a minute more She might drive me insane And I don't want to wait that long I don't want to wait that long (good God honey) I don't want to wait that long I might be alright when I'm back in her arms tonight But I don't want to wait that long Well it's one round for the money Two rounds it's a show Three rounds and I'm good and ready After four rounds I should go That fifth round, don't tell me I don't want to know I don't want to wait that long Well if whiskey was a river And I was a diving duck I'd be stranded on the shoreline 'Cause you know that's just my luck I'd watch you diving down And someday you might come back up But I don't want to wait that long I don't want to wait that long (good God honey) I don't want to wait that long I might be alright when I'm back in her arms tonight But I don't want to wait that long Well that fiddle it's ringing yeah the bass is pumping loud And I can see you staring at me from clear across the crowd Way you got me feeling only heaven will allow And I don't want to wait that long I don't want to wait that long (good God honey) I don't want to wait that long I might be alright when I'm back in her arms tonight But I don't want to wait that long I don't want to wait that long (good God now honey) I don't want to wait that long I might be alright when I'm back in her arms tonight But I don't want to wait that long I don't want to wait that long

about

A long time coming, this record was recorded in a series of sessions over several years. All of the takes are live, with very little embellishment beyond what was happening in the room at that moment. A document of seven years worth of songs, this record finally brings Ryan's dynamic live to show a recorded format

credits

released September 24, 2011

Produced by: David "Goody" Goodrich
Engineered and Mixed by: Mark Thayer at Signature Sounds Studios, Pomfret CT
Mastered by: Ian Kennedy at New Alliance
Design, Art Direction: Susan DeAngelis
Photography: Jamie Meditz

Ryan Fitzsimmons - guitar and vocals

featuring:

The Ryan Fitzsimmons Band:
Jim Larkin - drums
Dana Price - violin on 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10, vocals on 1, 2, 10
Faisal Aswat - bass on tracks 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 10
Ian Goldstein - mandolin on tracks 2, 3, 4, 8, 10, electric guitar on 1, 6,

Exile on Elm St:
Kara Kulpa - violin on 5, 9, 11, lap steel on 7, vocals on 5, 11
Danielle Miraglia - vocals on 7, 9, and 11
Greg Klyma - mandolin on 5, 11, vocals on 5, 11
Tom Bianchi - upright bass on 5, 11, vocals on 11

David "Goody" Goodrich - fender rhodes on 1, electric guitar on 7

Thank you to

Meredith Fitzsimmons, Sean Grimes, Sue DeAngelis, Jamie Meditz, Marilyn Edge, Mom, Todd, Craig, Krissy, Jimmy, Justin, Riley, Uncle Pat, Dick, Beth, Chris, Mariah and Ella Venner, Jason Kitayama, Sam Margolis, John Windle, Yukon Stubblebine, Mike Piehl, Laurence Scudder, Jake Bush, Dietrich Strause, Hugh McGowan, Tim Lewandowski, Jeff Gaynor, Brett Hobin, Corey Hobin, Matthew Giannaros, Ryan Montbleau, Todd Lehman, Brendan Hogan, Dar Williams, Patrick Norton and the Narrows Center for the Arts, Nancy Scott, Joe Stewart, Billy Beard and The Lizard Lounge, Jeremy Gotlieb and Toad, Matt Smith and Club Passim, The Flying Furlanis and No Place Special, Kathy Sands-Boehmer, Geoff Bartley, Jamie Barth, Rob Mattson, Tom Groleau, Chuck Anastasiou, Kevin O'Brien, Adam Sweeney, Erik Alan, Levin Schwartz, all the rest of the Amity Front, Rusty Belle, Brian Austin Whitney, Ourstage.com, John Fuzek, Joanne Lurgio and RISA, Tracey Delfino, Shawna Lea Kelley, Everyone at The Music Emporium, and Gus.

This album is dedicated to the memory of Eugene Fitzsimmons, Jerry Balchunas, Walter J Leonard, and Quinn.

Special thanks to Susan and Fred Deangelis for getting this project going, and the continued support!

This record would not have been possible without the donations of many generous people, especially Todd Fitzsimmons, Colleen Manning and Robert S., Michael Ty Fitzsimmons, Dan Tappan, Jim and Caroline O'Hara, Joe Caruso, Sandra Roe, Chris & Mariah Venner, Sean Grimes, Ian Goldstein, Sarah and Greg Cattano, Craig Fitzsimmons, Michelle Morin, Marie and David Boneparth, Leslie Drescher, Mary Lou Rabideau-Bruno, Andrew Cahill, Rob Mattson Jill Ortolano, Clint Moyer, Shawna Kea Kelley, Daniel Catapano, Margaret Pistello, and Antje Hegemann. Thank you to everyone that made this happen!

All songs written by Ryan Fitzsimmons (c)2011 BMI except track 1, written by Ryan Fitzsimmons and JJ Baron

Booking:
Marilyn Edge
Roots Edge Music
P.O.Box 1894
Fall River, MA 02722
774-488-6623
marilyn.edge@gmail.com

www.ryanfitzsimmons.com

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Ryan Fitzsimmons Boston, Massachusetts

Aquarium Drunkard said: "His rhythmic folk songs are more of the hand-banging variety, his delivery marked with dark traces like the end of the night, and he plays with captivating confidence."

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